5 industry buzzwords I never ever want to hear again

1. Snackable Content:

1. Anything created to be intentionally concise and quickly consumed (copy, video, infographics, etc.)

2. Homemade baked goods, typically left in the kitchen, also quickly consumed

I hate myself every time I hear myself say it

I hate myself every time I hear myself say it

If I’m not currently thinking about food, I’ve either just finished doing so or I’m actively trying not to do so again. The last thing I need when I’m riding a burst of inspiration is another food-based metaphor to throw me back into a delicatessen-fueled daydream. So for the sake of my stomach, can we swear off discussing copy as “easily digestible” or “bite sized”?

 

2. Listicle:

A bulleted, numbered, or otherwise segmented blog (short in length)

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

A veritable double threat—here’s a term that manages to rhyme with “testicle” and yet make its user sound like an ass. The most infuriating part about “listicle”? “Short list” actually uses fewer syllables. To be fair, I suppose “listicle” saves you 4 strokes of a keyboard when you’re typing, but is your soul so cheaply bought?

 

 3. “Flesh it out”:

An objectively disgusting way to encourage another to expand on an idea or work

Um... Gross

Um... Gross

Flesh, like “moist,” makes people feel uncomfortable in ways you accept without questioning. I will gladly add to, expand on, delve deeper, explore, and get into the weeds with any bit of copy I write—just don’t get all fleshy about it.

 

4. Guru/Ninja:

Ostensibly, a title bestowed upon digital marketers (social media managers, SEO experts, etc.) when you aren’t quite sure what else to call them

Just because you say it doesn't make it true

Just because you say it doesn't make it true

If your agency uses these terms in any official capacity, you may as well invest in a “This isn’t your Dad’s lame-o office!” banner to hang above the front door, too. Don’t get me wrong—if you told a teenaged me that I would one day work for a company that put “Jedi” on my business card, it would almost make up for all of the Sweet Sixteens I wasn’t invited to. But after your 3rd or 4th time stumbling across these titles, they stop making a digital marketer seem any cooler—they only make ninjas seem more commonplace.

 

5. “Can we make it more viral?”:

...

Some words just need to die already

Some words just need to die already

I almost don’t know where to start here.

Asking to make a campaign “more viral” is like requesting that your cat be funnier. Cats can be hilarious (see: the internet), but even when your cat is being hilarious: Are you capturing it? Are you sharing it? How are you positioning the video you are taking to make it the next cat in a shark costume riding around on a roomba?

So it goes with making something “viral.” It requires an obscene number of hours spent concepting ideas, planning distribution, creating unique/engaging/shareable content, and capitalizing on momentum at the second it (hopefully) unfolds. All of this, paired with an impossible-to-predict element of “exactly the right time, exactly the right place.” For every 1,000 times all of this is done masterfully, it will go “viral” in maybe 1–2 instances.

But if that gets you down, just google “funny cats,” which is successful almost 1,000 out of 1,000 times.